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Before, I'd been tested by time but never before had I felt such great pain. It all began in 2008... I was getting ready for college and I thought, I'd never been in love before, so why not use this time to find out how its like?

I did just that... I gave him my all. I had a lot of first times with him and it was just great... a few months down the line, he hurt me emotionally but I forgave him because I really loved him.

But one day I'd just had enough, I decided to go to university 17000km away from home, away from him... 2weeks after I left, he died, from what, I'm not sure. I only heard about it 4 months later when I called to wish him a happy birthday...

For some reason it hurt so much, why did I go away? Maybe we would have talked... it's a month and a half since I heard, but I still think about him, not with so much pain now but I do think about him a lot and I really want to let go but it's so hard! He hurt me so I should really forget about him, it's just not fair... Im 19 and he was 25...

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