Suicide grief... a complicated bereavement
~"The suicide does not
play the game, does not observe the rules. He leaves the party too soon,
and leaves the other guests painfully uncomfortable".
~Joyce Carol Oates (1978)
great loss due to suicide can be among the most painful and difficult
losses to bear. You can be left with huge burdens of guilt, anger, shame
and regret. It's very common to feel that you caused the suicide or
should have been able to prevent it.
You may beat yourself up with unanswered questions like these:
There is usually a stigma attached to suicide. And you as a suicide survivor must bear the brunt of the shame. Added to this is discomfort and awkwardness. People just don't know what to say to you, so they stay away.
adds to your feelings of being deserted and further complicates your
grief. Suicide can also lay waste to family dynamics and leave your
family in shambles.
Here are some strong strategies to try that may help you all through this trying time:
Counseling during the first few weeks after a suicide can be very helpful to prevent overwhelming despair.
Support groups can be especially beneficial in cases of suicide. Sympathetic group members can provide support that might be missing from your normal social support system due to embarrassment and shame.
who have experienced loss to suicide themselves are far more apt to
understand what you are going through and be able to provide you with a
more realistic perspective on the situation.
Try this website to find a personal support group in your location:
Or : www.suicidology.org (click on "support groups")
This website is helpful for online support: www.survivingsuicide.com
You may also find help and comfort from these excellent books: