I had an abortion 18 years ago and i regret it

by Narelle

I was 21 when I had an abortion. The circumstances of my life back then did not permit me to bring a child into the world, well I felt that my child would not have the life it deserves if I was to have a baby at a young age without any financial security. I am now childless and I regret my decision. I have always thought about my baby over the years and realise that if I had of had the baby, my life would have been better and the baby would have had the life it deserved. I just wish I had the maturity to realise that back then. I suppose 18 years of age is an important age and I wish my baby was here so I could celebrate his birthday. I have made some terrible life choices and my life went downhill after I had the abortion. It is only the last couple of years I realised that I had been grieving for 15 years for my baby. I often wonder if my baby is my guardian angel with me over the years giving me the strength to get through the hard times that I created for myself.

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Jun 20, 2016
I had an abortion 18yrs ago and I regret it
by: Doreen UK

Narelle I am so sorry for your loss of your child to a decision you feel you now regret. In life we go through so much that often making a decision is the hardest thing we ever have to do.
We will go through life making decisions all the time and we just don't know if they are the right ones. Some decisions we make will affect our life in many ways and perhaps even halt us moving forward better than we could have done had we made a different decision.
We all live with regrets. Try and find a way to live with your regrets without punishing yourself otherwise you cannot move forward and make a success of your life in the way you need to. Every day you live with guilt you will stunt your life. Our losses can cripple us and sometimes just seeing a counsellor can help us put things into perspective and eventually forgive ourselves for those choices we made in our past. We cannot force ourselves to mature. It is a natural process. When we mature we make better decisions. You have reached an age of maturity that is making you question the decision you made at 18yrs of age when you perhaps had to make a quick decision that is now affecting your life.
You cannot guess if your life would have been better had you kept your pregnancy and child. Any birth defect could have left you feeling unable to cope with life and the difficulties of being a single parent would carry its own responsibilities and hardship.
You could work with a counsellor to free you from the pain you are still experiencing. If you don't then you will limit your life now and stop you from enjoying each new day that comes. 15yrs. is a long time to punish yourself for the decision/choice you made.
Find a way to write your achievements in stone and your regrets in sand. Count your blessings and not your losses. Find a way to grieve your loss and put something new in your life that will make life worth living and offer you better days ahead. It is your birthright to enjoy life and make the best of each day despite what happens to us in life. We will also lose someone in life but it is possible to find a way forward through our losses and gain the strength to go on.

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